Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
