Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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