he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
