do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
