Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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