I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
