508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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