I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
