the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
