he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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