Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
