Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
