Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
