Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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