Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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