You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
