I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
