i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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