honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
