How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
