There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
His nipple licking is glorious
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