Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hippo gnu deer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
