Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
