Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
