i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
