Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
