Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
and you fell through a lawn chair
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
