Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My nipple is on Facebook.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
