God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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