sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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