i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize