just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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