she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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