The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
