My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
