the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
