is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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