Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
