Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
