I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
