God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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