Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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