Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
