Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
