He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
