mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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