Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
