i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
