Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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