Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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