Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As shirtless as possible
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
