i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
