I cockslap morals
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize