If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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