Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
