hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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