oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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