I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
