I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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