What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
