He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
