just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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