We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
