is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
