Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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