Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize